Richard -- CP -- Week 2.2 (that means we conversed twice this week, slackers!)

I visited Ruiting at his apartment today, so it goes without saying that I was quite anxious since I'm not familiar with Chinese etiquette. Nor am I exactly aware of these sorts of things in my own country -- even I lack Southern hospitality! Still, I kept thinking about how I could express gratitude for his inviting me. Should I bring a gift? Maybe I should've combed my hair? Put on a business suit?Anything, to be truthful! This became overwhelming.

And so I did nothing. Sorry, Ruiting.

Anyway, we met near the swimming pool. Because it was such a nice day outside, lots of people were basking in the carcinogenic sun. I was in a (light) jacket. What? The sun's dangerous to my skin, so I choose to remain pale.

We played ping pong. He won. End of that story.

No, I'm kidding. We actually played pocket billiards (also known as "pool," but we were next to a pool, so I refused to confuse). Isn't the English language awesome?! But I did decide to teach him a few things about the nomenclature regarding the sport. For example, there are two kinds of balls -- don't you dare laugh! -- which are equally divided into Solids and Stripes. Still with me? Then he asked me what the pockets were called. I said pockets. Other words included chalk, cue ball, and triangle (Seriously, what is the triangular thing called?).

So after every 10 minutes or so, I would quiz him on the vocabulary. I point to the pocket. "What is this?" I ask. "Poetry!" Ruiting replied.

For the first time in my life, I had to say, "Poetry is incorrect." How do you think this makes me feel?! I corrected him, of course. "Nope, that's a pocket." 10 minutes later: "What is this?" (pointing to the pocket). "Poetry!" He made me do it again. For the second time in my life, I had to say, "Poetry is incorrect." I hope I never say this combination of words again!

Again, as we were playing pocket billiards, Ruiting would occasionally focus his vision toward the ladies in their two-pieces. Then he said something about stripping. And, well, you can tell where this is going. So perceptions of women in America and China are pretty similar, I learned. Put a group of guys together and what do they talk about? The View (and I'm not talking about Barbara Walters).

After pocket billiards, he showed me the fitness center. We worked out (more like He worked out). I hated it. He told me he does it to protect his girlfriend. That's cool. I just sat down on some Bowflex-looking contraption and listened to Maria Sharapova's grunts. You guessed it! Apparently, this guy right here -- and I'm being reflexive -- is no protector whatsoever. I mean, I'm a poet (hence the rhyme), not Ah-nuld.

Still, I had a good time. By the way, Ruiting gave me a gift. It was in a red pouch ( I'll show you what it is on Tuesday, okay?). Now I feel very, very guilty. Just as I'm typing this, I'm perusing the Internet and researching this.

I now know that I need to stay away from the number 4. If you have no idea, what I'm talking about, you need to click the link. See you Tuesday (or Saturday for some of y'all).