I met my tutoree yesterday. He works at the Goodwill with many other women from Latin America. The whole day was a little confusing because I wasn't sure where to be, or how to act, or what to do, or how to communicate. And I was running late. And I was dressed in hip American, distressed fashion which though looks cool in the East Village could be viewed as rags by folks from Latin America. At least that's what I remember Senora Olivella telling me in High School. She didn't have a problem with the mullet I was sporting.
So the the day started abruptly. I had some grand notion that I was a "Presence Ambassador" of some sort and that by simply sitting with my tutoree I would induce better English in him (or her). Not true. It was incredibly challenging. He was a low, low beginner. In fact, he doesn't really know any English. I found myself actually learning and needing to learn more Spanish to communicate. I ran head on into his frustration with learning a foreign language and had a "Tong-lin" moment of really feeling his frustration and relating with it because of my own. Of really being able to radiate compassion for all those who can't communicate and so desperately want to.
However, I still feel that relaxation is the key. At least for Francisco. I want to know who he is and what his story is and what I have to offer is the space for him. I must be a stainless steel blade. I must be disciplined in my own practices so that I can come at him authentically. I may have to work on numbers and the alphabet and would like to bring in the Oxford Picture Dictionary. First and formost I desire for him to be calm and soft in the uncertainty he experiences. How will I do this? How indeed will I do this?
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I think your intuition is serving you well by realizing that you should start with easier activities and accomplishing attainable goals. Learning English is as big of a task as climbing K2. Focusing on the task at hand and not getting overwhelmed is something to constantly focus on. What are his language goals (for these weeks, months, year, 5 years, etc.)? How does he want to use his English most urgently? Elicit and respond to his needs.
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